Cooking Saveur

Time to cook. Why that egg is so huge inside that poor chicken, only a poultry OBGYN knows. First recipe, pg. 351 on mac and cheese. I've never followed an actual recipe because who the hell has all those ingredients on hand? I live in a DC apartment, not Martha Stewart's Connecticut estate where I can just go out and grab twigs of thyme and a fresh bay leaf. My approach to cooking ot to basically try to use up shit in the fridge before it molds or decays. So cheese was the ingredient guiding me to page 351. And may I just say THANK YOU for extolling the melty virtues of Velveeta "cheese" Saveur! Fuck those snooty chefs who mock its vibrant orange history. It works whenever you want to get that gooey, non-oil-pool, creamy goodness just melting cheddar or any other real cheese can not yield.

I basically just shredded up what I think was a Gruyere/cheddar block from Trader Joe's, a Colby wedge from the farmer's market, leftover Parmesan, and yes, the little ounce of blue cheese and, of course, the Velveeta. Added that mixture to the basic variation of the flour/butter/milk mixture that seems very much like a bechamel sauce? I have to look that up; could be dreaming. I added garlic because, GARLIC. Also jazzed it up with ground pepper flakes instead of cayenne, used dry thyme and two bay leaves since they were looking/smelling kinda wimpy. I also blended panko flakes with the buttered wheat bread crumbs (who the hell have white bread at home? Kindergarten teachers and the CEO of ButterKrust? Are they still in business? Loved that factory sign in San Antonio - endless slices just spilling out of that loaf - now it's just orange juice).

This recipe makes way too much for a 8x8 thus I had to go with two baking casserole pans. Yes, I have more than one, but not going to say how many more. So, after the baking, results were good. Nice, crunch crumb top that you could hear crunching when you dished out portions. creamy but not stringy cheese with nice cling to the spirali pasta. Should have used more garlic, but when haven't I thought that.

2015 reboot

Time to start writing again. Sad to notice my last post was about Chai. She was so amazing as a companion and pet. I probably hung on too long, finally making the final decision to put her to sleep not long after that post. I even regretted the decision, feeling the loss so excruciatingly. But after a few months, it hits that those feelings were all about me, not about her and her suffering. Bleck. And during the grief, I make stupid choices. I now have a hideous plaster cast of smoosh prints that are suppose to be her paws?!? What was I thinking?!!! Almost as bad and sappy as that Rainbow Bridge poem.

lump rub

lump rub a video by peffs on Flickr.

Much better day. Eating well and she loves a good petting.

laptop cat

laptop cat a video by peffs on Flickr.

Like any cat, she loves sitting on the laptop. Fun cleaning out the catfood she leaves in the keyboard ;)

Chai, my child

She, she looks funny. Yes, the lump has now taken over almost all of her lower jaw. But pain meds and sunshine are GREAT. She is one resilient cat - still able to eat and purr. She uses her litter box, loves her scratching pad, basically better than most cats ;) Seriously, the only though part is eating. If cat food were red, you'd think someone was murdered in a wood chipper after she's eaten. Food particles get flicked off her feed paw up the wall to heights of 4 feet! Food paw prints left all over the house. Then she drinks with full chin in one of her four drinking spots set up around the apartment - window sill, bathroom sink, low water bowl and a higher pint glass near her food. She keeps hydrated. But after drinking, she shakes like a wet dog sending all the lovely wet food/water mixtures flying everywhere. Wow! At first I used to follow her around, clean her paws after eating, cleaning her face, but she just circles back to eating again, repeat process, plus I keep food out for her at all times and can't monitor her 24/7 thus I've now found humor in cleaning up the very impressive mess she leaves in her wake.

Anyone looking at my appearance - food stains on all my clothes, disheveled hair and appearance, exhausted look - would think I'm a new parent. Looking at the food scatter pattern around her eating area would also lead one to think 'toddler'. But it is cat food, and food strains are in the patter of paw prints and smells like cat food. I'm ones sexy mom!

Melancholy Xmas

Really shitty day. Chai was not doing well. I think she was having some pain. She also sits forlorn for a respite in front of her food dish waiting for 10 to 15 minutes in front of it before trying to eat. Lump is getting bigger. Her poor tongue sort of sticks out at moments on her right side. Really not sure how much of the food is actually getting into her but obviously some of it. I'd say on a good day, she can get in about 3 oz. in one eating. Trying to get her to eat twice a day. Upped her pain meds to twice a day. I'm a blubbering mess today. I really don't want to play God with her life, trying to decide what she would want. Damn it! Can't speak cat. Don't know if that would help since she never was a talker. Don't even remember the last time I heard her meow. Now I'm crying again. Like some sort of emotional mom hoping her mute child will suddenly become Linus in Peanuts and say something epiphanic. 

Lumpy

My cat Chai has cancer. She was diagnosed several months back. I noticed it as a lump on her left jaw under her chin. Turns out x-rays show it is also in her chest/heart area. She's 18 so I really didn't think surgery an option. So now I take the pain and try to find the humor 'cause I will admit she is developing some pretty smart, if messy, adaptive behavior. So let my adventure in adapting to cat cancer hopefully help you laugh and say, "Some pet owners are NUTS!" or if you prefer going with cliches, "Oh, one of those crazy cat ladies."

This pic was take back on October 20, 2012 I think. We were still living in a tiny studio apartment with only one window. No, I'm not recently divorced. Soon we moved to DC to many more windows with sunny places to nap. More on that later. But here you see mini-lump. The half Brando Godfather impersonation comes later. Along with drool. And food blobs. She's basically regressing into the infant I never raised. Fun!

messy eater

messy eater a video by peffs on Flickr.

Chai can only eat out of the right side of her mouth. Lump took over the left side. But she's so ingenious! She uses her paw to feed herself. Frickin' brilliant! Just like finger painting only with food. So basically I've got a toddler who I'm encouraging to eat the food/paint. The crazy things we do for our beloved pets.

Food painting

This is my first attempt at controlling the mess Chai creates when eating. Cardboard! Simply pick it up and toss it into recycling/compost. Can't use a platic mat like for kids. Kids are contained safely in their highchair. Chai get free range! Lucky me. And she needs a solid painting canvas to get her paws into the mush to scoop into her mouth. Now if only some modernist art dealer saw the value in caw food art paintings, I could sell these cardboard canvases.

bloody hell

The first time Chai's mouth bled I was in Alexandria. FREAKED me out. I was a ball of tears and snot. Rushed her over to the vet a few blocks away. Turns out that she just scrapped up her mouth inside. Given that her cancer was growing and crowding out her teeth on the left lower jaw, not too surprising. So here she is in her new place and we had out first bloody experience. Here she is looking like a cool boxer just relaxing after a pretty good round in the ring. My job is painful - wait and then clean up.