Big Mouth Strikes

Don't Piss Me OFF
... I become one mean bee-ach

Yes, I admit it. I have a thing for McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. Yes, I know they are bad for you. Yes, I know they have the transfats but I was willing to eat these amalgamated chicken fused blobs even before they went to all white meat so I really couldn't care less about fat content. I haven't had any McDonald's food since a ski trip in British Columbia back in 1997ish. I know how bad the business is, read Fast Food Nation, and saw Super-Size Me. None the less, I found myself sucked into the local Mc-E-Dees one afternoon just because. And here is how I almost succumbed to the evil M but was saved by one bitchier-than-me New Yorker.

I was waiting in line, guy in front of me split off to feed the second line. After a while, about 3-5 minutes, I too split off and stood behind him in the other line. A gal of about 25 came up behind me in line and started bitching me out for cutting in front of her. I tried to explain how I had just moved from the other line to this one. She continued to verbally harass me saying she was there first. I said this was difficult to defend since I was actually standing in front of her. Again, more verbal abuse so I said, "You're obviously in some rush so perhaps she should get ahead of me." She quickly took advantage of the offer and threw some more verbal abuse my way. By this point I lost it. My worst Don Rickles came out and I turned to the guys behind me and said,

"Guess she can't wait a second longer to get that fat onto her size twelve ass."

Got a few chuckles from the guys, which really pissed her off promoting her to respond with, "Shut your big f$%^ing mouth!". I responded with, "It's you who started this with a mouth as big as your butt." She shut up but after some wait I realized I needed to leave. Too tempting to comment on her purchase and I was close to getting punched, I'm sure of it. She saved me for a McD error but with my newly adopted NYC attitude. Not sure how long I'm going to last before getting popped in my big mouth.