Party on 79th

Karaoke and Kids

Not sure if it is a cultural thing or an educated perspective but my ideas on raising children seem to be in serious conflict with some folks, mainly some foreign-born parents. Instead of trekking to the Mafia Bday party in Brooklyn, I stayed in my neighborhood and went to a party literally a block away. My friend I. from Switzerland knew this fun couple who puts on an amazing holiday party. They have three floors in this great town home right on West 79th Street. There was a great mixed crowd: older, younger, parents, kids of various ages. They put together not just little noshes, although the nuts and nibbles were great, but they served a whole meal buffet style. They made the most fabulous broccoli soup, wonderful raisin, Mediterranean-inspired saffron rice, poached white fish, and about four other fantastic side dishes. I had a great conversation with a family of four. The father was in great shape likely due to his love of IronMan triathlons. His daughter and son were in their early teens and his wife was fabulous to chat with. The son had a swim meet the next day so they left around 10ish to get the kids home. Most everyone with kids left around this hour ... except for the CRAZY COUPLE.

Crazy Couple consisted of an American mother in her mid-to-late forties and her Argentinian husband. They had one daughter about six years old and a set of triplets that were three years old. I found out from I's friend that the triplets were in-vitro and the doctor recommended selectively aborting one for the survival of the other two but the mom couldn't do that. Unfortunately this meant that they all were just a little bit 'slow' and the girl (it was two boys and a girl) has vision and hearing problems and is expected to go blind before she's ten. These kids were basically accoutrement's for these parents. They dressed them up in primary colored Wiggles t-shirts and carried them around like dressed-up dogs. Did we learn nothing form Paris and Nicole? This was just wrong! They brought their au pair (fancy word for young babysitter/slave) to help out be she basically was relegated to the peripheral to catch dropped cups, food, and spilled things. The parents were even caught cussing at each other ("Where the f$%^ were you?) during one of the juggle acts of trying to wrangle all four children.

Now I enjoy children when it is in an environment suitable for them to be fun, happy kids. An adult holiday party is not one of them. Great to have 'em around for dinner but after 11pm when the karaoke machine breaks out, liquor is flowing hard and heavy, leather pants and high heels take the stage, it's time for them to be in bed. Crazy Couple though differently. As there kids ran around with hands over their ears bouncing off walls like pin balls, the parents did nothing to calm or sooth them. These four are out-of-control terrors! Knocking over stuff, clearly needing sleep. The parents were not providing the safe and responsible environment they sooooo needed. Boundaries, daily patterns, and proper sleep are so important to help a child feel secure and get the rest they need to grow. These wackos were so selfish. They were just using their kids to show off to the crowd - "Awe, how cute are they?' ARGH! Get those kids home! And get those parents in some program!

So, retelling this story to a Puerto Rican friend, he took exception. He said parents shouldn't give up parties and socializing just because they have children. Ah, yes! When you become a parent, your children's well-being becomes the number one priority in your life, not your need to party! Sure, I think there should be room to socialize with your kid there, and there should be times when parents can 'party' with adults while leaving the kids home but no one should subject toddlers and babies to midnight karaoke open-bar events when they need sleep and quite. He said Americans were too hung up on order and lived boring lives after they became parents. Oh did I take offense! Bullshit! This isn't a cultural thing, it's a responsibility thing. But his friends (who brought their 14 month old to the Mafia party - in a suit with a pencil mustache drawn on) couldn't afford a babysitter and he thought they shouldn't have to stay at home and be boring just because of this limitation. Uh, hello! What the bleep? Why are kids (his friends look to be in their early twenties) having kids without thinking of the financial obligations that go along with this? Sure, it is not cheap having children but a good parent can find a sitter (friend, family) to attend an adult function or they should pick and choose what thing to go to depending on their new family situation. It's called life changes! I just want to SCREAM at the selfishness of some folks when their impressionable, developing, precious young children have to suffer through their bad choices. This can't be a cultural thing because I. is from Switzerland and she was just as appalled as I about the parenting skills of Crazed Couple. Not sure where these wacky parenting thoughts are coming from.

Yep, I'm smarter than them all ... because I don't have kids. Only an objective outsider can make these blanket, opinionated, unsubstantiated claims to the best methods you should use when raising your kids. You're all messed up and I'm perfect. Just don't point out any of my flaws, I'll just airbrush them out.