Really shitty day. Chai was not doing well. I think she was having some pain. She also sits forlorn for a respite in front of her food dish waiting for 10 to 15 minutes in front of it before trying to eat. Lump is getting bigger. Her poor tongue sort of sticks out at moments on her right side. Really not sure how much of the food is actually getting into her but obviously some of it. I'd say on a good day, she can get in about 3 oz. in one eating. Trying to get her to eat twice a day. Upped her pain meds to twice a day. I'm a blubbering mess today. I really don't want to play God with her life, trying to decide what she would want. Damn it! Can't speak cat. Don't know if that would help since she never was a talker. Don't even remember the last time I heard her meow. Now I'm crying again. Like some sort of emotional mom hoping her mute child will suddenly become Linus in Peanuts and say something epiphanic.
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